Self-Confidence : Better Than Hating Yourself

All job seekers really need a self confidence.Why ???
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Self Confidence : Better Than Hating Yourself

Are self-confident people more successful? Or are successful people more self-confident? One thing is certain: chicken-or-the-egg introductions work great when you can't find a decent way to start an article.

It doesn't take a genius to recognize that self-confidence and success are at least related. Mark Leary is a noted researcher on the subjects of self-confidence and self-esteem. Someone pays him to think about this stuff.

An important part of self-confidence is what psychologists call a sense of self-efficacy. That is the belief that you are able to accomplish a particular goal: "I can make my relationships work" or "I can do this job" or "I can survive the staff Christmas party."

Emerge Unscathed

Albert Bandura is a psychologist at Stanford University, which must be fun to tell people at cocktail parties. In a paper on self-efficacy, he writes: "Perceived self-efficacy is defined as people's beliefs about their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance. Self-efficacy beliefs determine how people feel, think, motivate themselves and behave."

People with lots of confidence in their capabilities approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than as threats to be avoided. They set themselves challenging goals and maintain a strong commitment to them. Those with too much confidence may even pursue misguided goals until the bitter end, but may emerge unscathed.

People lacking confidence are slow to recover their sense of efficacy after a failure or setback. When they fail, they think it's because they lack abilities, and they lose faith in themselves. They become victims to stress and depression. A little lesson in pop psychology 101: depression is no fun at all.

Your Own 12-Step Program

Atley Morrow is a registered psychologist, but he won't try to apply Freudian analysis to your dreams unless you ask really nicely. Morrow says you can't underestimate the importance of self-confidence in every area of your life. It is extremely important. Here are some ways to build it if you're lacking:
  • Practise stepping out of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself to do things you have never done before or have always felt uncomfortable with, even if anxiety is present. If there's no anxiety, you haven't left your comfort bubble.
  • Be reflective. Learn to identify events which make you walk away muttering, "Gee, I wish I had...." Then find ways to take action so you don't often feel like a loser.
  • In situations where you walk away feeling like you didn't assert yourself, think about what you want to say, then go back and make your well thought-out point. Rethink it again if it includes four-letter words.
  • Practise being assertive (not aggressive). Practise learning what you want to say. Start with supportive friends and family members -- they're less likely to write you off.
  • Studies have shown that exercise raises self-confidence. Just a 30-minute walk a day will give you more energy and a more positive outlook on life. You might get a blister, but you'll be feeling so positive, you won't care.
  • Acknowledge what you do well. People lacking in self-esteem or self-confidence are often quick to criticize themselves but rarely give themselves a pat on the back for a job well done. Even a fear you have pushed through (a stretching of the comfort zone) deserves a pat on the back. Just don't pat too hard -- you might throw your shoulder out.
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Uploaded By : erwin
Last Update : 17/07/2004

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